If You Want It, Let It Go

While running the other day I heard a song on my Ipod by a band called Day of Fire. The song was Detainer. It had a chorus, that said over and over "If You Want It, If You Want It, If You Want It, Let It Go". I can't remember most of the other lyrics, but the chorus tempo was good for a 7 mph run. Hearing it over and over again got me to thinking about relinquishing things that are out of my control over to God.

Looking back at different periods of my life, I realize that when I "thought" I was in control, those were the most destructive and stagnant times in my life. Don't get me wrong, some of them were fun and free, but I didn't really move forward in my relationships, my career or my marriage. But when I realize that most parts of life really aren't in my control and let them unfold naturally, I see rewards overflow.

Take work for example; I'm a salesman and l can honestly say that I am pretty good at it. When I start gearing up for a goal and start looking at everyone as the next sale and start thinking about what I'm going to do with the money i'll make on the deal before they even agree, usually those deals don't go the way I expected. I move on to the next one and do the same thing with more force because I know if I don't sell the next customer, I might miss the goal and so on. But when I let it go by taking a step back and just expose my business or product to more and more people, as more of a tour guide and don't focus on "Closing" them, calls start coming in to me to do business. Those new exposures turn around much quicker and ones that have been on the table awhile seem to fall into place.

It's easy to see in your marriage or in your relationships with your kids. If you want them to change or do something different from the norm, and you tell them over and over what they are doing wrong and that you want them to change a particular behavior, it never fails that your relationship grows apart and disdain for each other starts to show its ugly face. However, if you express your opinion once and don't press the issue, but turn it over to God, pray about it and let it go, you either come to the realization that maybe you were making a bigger deal about it in the first place or sometimes, miraculously, your children or spouse come around to your way of thinking on their own.

I have found that when business wasn't going well and bills were tight and I focused so hard on how I was going to fix it, I got depressed and started to believe that it was useless to try and felt like giving up. On the other hand, when I let it go and just kept doing what I knew needed to be done and didn't focus on it, things turned around. Opportunities would present themselves, bill collectors would call and settle for less than I owed, insurance that I didn't think would cover something took care of the largest portion.

Control is an illusion that we, with our grandiose ideas, have bought into. We have so called gurus telling us that we have the power within us to control our own destiny in order to sell their books. We buy into it and when it doesn't work, we buy the next book or audio cd that will have the right answer, only to find we are still failures. It's an endless circle that makes many people millions of dollars each year. 

Trying to control your life is like fighting through a storm in a boat, at some time you realize it's better to let go of the rudder for your own safety and that of your passengers. Don't let your ego get in the way of your life.

I don't believe we should just float around like feathers in the movie Forest Gump and just see what happens in all areas of life, but I know that when we focus so hard on getting something right and fear failure, we usually let ourselves down.